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  • The Well-Known Dutch Author

    From about 4th grade, I'd been a regular feature in the principal's office. This was so not because I was a bad kid, a trouble-maker, or a slacker. No, this was so because I'm a Quoter. I may not ever remember your name or my birth date, but I'll usually be able to lay out some obscure (and not so obscure) movie quote that fits whatever situation I'm in.

    For instance, my first trip to the principal's office was because of a little playground tiff with the kid who sat in front of me in class. He was always pulling my pigtails at recess, which according to my mom was a sign that he liked me. Complete balderdash, but I digress. One day I decided enough was enough and I warned him that if he pulled my pigtails again, I'd punch him. He pulled, I punched, although it was more like a nip than a punch. He pulled again--and then took off running.

    I ran after him shouting, "Come back here, you yellow bastard!"

    Ah, Monty Python! How you'd get me into more trouble throughout the years! And what fun it's been, too.

    There was a later incident when I explained why the castle in my story was named, "Anthrax," and another over a silly little ditty about a lumberjack. In high school, my friends and I were all big fans and so we all went down together my senior year after getting caught in the midst of a rousing "Sit On My Face" during drama club. It didn't help that I was the only female in the, um, "choir," that's for sure.

    (I got our punishments redacted after I blamed my dad--he ran a video store from his home on Main Street, and so the principal inferred we had discovered said 'illicit' material there, which was sort of true since it was he who accidentally introduced his kids to Monty Python in the first place.)

    Oh, and there was the unfortunate Freudian slip my junior year. The entire class read "A Tale of Two Cities," by Charles Dickens. We were all given a specific angle, and using that angle we were to present an oral report of about 5 minutes in length. My report was cut short within the first few moments, and I was sent yet again to the principal's office along with a furiously-written note from my teacher who was so red in the face, I thought she might be having a stroke. Poor lady. She really needed to get out more.

    Being the good parent that I am, of course I have shared my joyous love of Monty Python with my children. Well, not all of it. I do keep it relatively age-appropriate. The last thing I need is for my son to be sent to the office because he announced that he liked peril!

    Now, if they'd only embrace Airplane! as well...

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