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  • Woo-Hoo! What a year!

    Just thought I'd sneak in one last post for 2006.

    The Family returned from The Land of Dial-Up yesterday. It was fun, we ate too much fried food and zero vegetables. Unless you can call cole slaw and fried pickles "vegetables," which you can't.

    The campster is still running fine, we're all still breathing on our own, there's still a few bucks left in the bank, and it's not pissing down rain. An excellent end to the year.

    What will 2007 bring? Who can say. Perhaps this is the year I'll actually shed a few pounds and give my ailing kidneys some relief. I might just actually call people and send cards on birthdays. Hell might freeze over, too, but let's not encourage that, okay?

    Hope your 2006 was at least pleasant, and that 2007 is at least a little bit brighter. Love and warm fuzzies to one and all!

    So a man hits a 7-legged deer with his truck....

    Seriously, folks, a guy hit a 7-legged deer with his truck and then took it home for dinner. He said it was pretty yummy.

    So yesterday, we're blogging that story to death on Obscure Store, when someone mentions it should have been stuffed and sold on eBay. Well, as you all know, I live in a housing development run by the military that is exactly like having an HOA, but worse, because I can be evicted for non-compliance rather than just fined. I can't have certain types of lawn ornaments, including plastic livestock and potty plant holders. So my comment about the stuffed 7-legged deer with male and female genitalia was, "Now that's a lawn ornament!"

    Well, the guy's local paper ran a story on his infamy, and quoted several of us, including me! I'm famous! Bow down to your new blogosphere overlord!

    Okay, so I'm not an overlord, but I'm more anonymously famous than I was yesterday.

    My first Fark photo upload...

    There was a thread about cloned cats, and since Sarah looks like Ceiling Cat, I thought I'd upload yesterday's picture. Since I already know blogspot has bandwidth issues, I opened my IP webpage and linked it from there. I just hope the webpage can withstand all the clickies. Not much sucks more than your image going Red X, except perhaps getting your entry deleted.

    Here's the comments forum. Scroll down until you see Sarah. Let me know if I've failed miserably. I'll be treating myself to Photoshop soon, and will definitely attempt a contest before the world ends.

    For those who don't know, I post in Fark as "rollersnake." Messed up with the sign-ups, so get used to my split personality. I don't post there often, since I'm either always late to the party, or whatever I wanted to say has already been said (and flamed).


    Two posts in one day?! Can you really be that lucky? Yes, you can!

    Introducing Dryer Kitty, misplaced twin to Fark's Photoshop Ceiling Kitty.

    Dryer Kitty is watching you!

    Seriously, people. This is my kitty, Sarah. She was the offspring of a stray, and we adopted her two years ago after she had been returned by her first family for being "psycho." She is a little nutty and makes noises like a Wookie, and she does not like strangers, but she's becoming very sweet. Someday, she just may be a lap kitty, but for now, I'm just glad she doesn't shred the furniture!

    News you can use!

    I am an advice column addict. I read two almost every day, and occasionally I will find a nugget of useful information that I can apply to my life, rather than just snicker at the selfishness or obliviousness of others or cry over someone's horrible treatment at the hands of an abuser.

    Today was one of those nugget days. Recently, I informed my delightful readers that they can call the police for assistance if they whack wildlife with their car. Although I am not clear on whether you should stick around, you should definitely call and alert the police to a road hazard.

    An entry in one of today's columns was from a man in his 30s who had seen a young girl by the side of the road attempting a bike repair. He had slowed down and offered assistance, which was refused, so he drove on. But he was left wondering a couple of things.

    Should he have offered at all, given the times and the fact that kids aren't supposed to talk to strangers?

    Should he have stopped anyway?

    The answer is sort-of to the first, and definitely not on the second.

    These are sad times, indeed. Children should not talk to strangers, and should never trust someone just pulling over to help. However, there are steps you can take to help a young cyclist, or any cyclist, for that matter, when they're stranded by the roadside.

    It is okay to pull up and ask if they need help, and what kind--it may be a medical emergency. If they say yes, tell them you will call for roadside assistance, the police or an ambulance for them. If they say no, go ahead and inform the police anyway and drive away. Everyone knows that rubberneckers cause more problems than the initial problem--the police need to be aware there is a potential hazard on the roadside.

    Also, to avoid any future unpleasantness, do not get out of your car unless it is a medical emergency that is life-threatening. Otherwise, let the professional Knights in Shining Armor do the helping out and avoid a lawsuit or worse--like getting your name etched forever into the state sex offender roster.

    Just thought you'd like to know.

    You want Christmas?! I've got your Christmas right here!

    Special thanks to the good folks at Fark.com for this piece of loveliness.

    If you're a fan of the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and also a fan of Scrubs (the best comedy on television), then you'll love this!

    Warning: it does not load smoothly, and hangs from time to time. Still worth the effort!

    It's all just so lovely!

    Mister (The Elitist City Dweller) shows me this advert for a restaurant in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. There's a picture of a toddler wearing just pants and gnawing on a barbequed rib.

    Their slogan reads:

    "Even Babies Know Good Babies!"

    Maybe it's just me, but that's just gross.

    Computer nerds of the world--unite and take over!


    So I'm at Obscure Store, reading this article about a guy who's suing a Dell kiosk because he got royally played by Dell (the company) . He knows that suing the company itself won't even merit the news, let alone get Dell to give him back his computer in working condition, so he's going after his local kiosk. Kudos to the creativity.

    This got the local commentators to regale us with their own personal Dell-hates-its-customers stories, which led to rebate horrors and the like. I postulated that perhaps it was time we start building our own computers, which works out quite well if you shop the right places. (Personally, I'm a big fan of New Egg.com) However, while writing that snotty bit of rudeness, I did recognize that the article was about a laptop, not a desktop. I made sure to point out that since I don't like laptops, I've never looked into how to build one.

    And so having made myself a wee bit curious, and curiosity having not yet killed my cat, I googled "how to build a laptop computer," and found this lovely bit of nerdy comedy. Golden!

    "The two basic components required to build a laptop computer are obviously a lap and a computer."

    This is fantastic! I have to say, however, it's the pics gallery that makes it truly genius!

    You can't have psychosis! Not yours!

    Well, well, well.

    Turns out those psychology quizzes hit closer to the mark than I had wanted to admit. Take the Star Wars Twins Test, for instance. Among other characters, I netted a twinship with Grand Moff Tarkin. Most people remember that he's the guy who blew up Leia's planet, even after she gave him information in order to save the planet from being blown up.

    That pretty much ticked me off. I mean, I'm not really the kind of person who holds grudges that can best be described as "criminally insane." After all, I am a caring, sharing, smooth-operator kind of individual as evidenced by a couple of my other twins: Qui-Gon Jinn and Lando!

    The real reason Tarkin was selected as my "conscientiousness" twin has little to do with revenge, and everything to do with my attention to detail, or lack thereof. You see, just like Tarkin, I can plot the ultimate plan, whether it's a road trip, house moving, or Death Star. However, the test indicated that also just like Tarkin, I am arrogant to a certain point, causing me to overlook "small but crucial details," such as vulnerable exhaust ports or whether my satellite box is actually hooked up to the wall.

    Yesterday, I had to rearrange my living room to accommodate the Christmas tree. In doing so, I unhooked the AV theater and moved everything around. I went through the painstaking process of hooking everything back up (or so I thought). However, all of a sudden the satellite dish wasn't working.

    I recalled that last week's signal check indicated I had about 30% signal, and that I had gone outside to give the post a nudge. The signal jumped to about 60%--not great, but better than before. So I got out the tools, a compass, and got to fiddling. Two hours later, still no signal. I was about to give up and call the cable company when Mister (The Elitist City Dweller) asks, "So, it's hooked up to the wall, right?"

    To which I replied, "GAH!"

    In my defense, my new, albeit unnecessary, fiddling has boosted my signal up to 96%.

    And thanks to the intervention of our local Sith, my Death Star--I mean, directv dish--lives to see another day.