What was that?

Well, here's a headline you didn't expect:

Oral Sex And Pot Linked To Cancer

clicky

Who knew?

Game On! Again.

Okay, I've finally got another license plate for all of you. This one really has me perplexed. It really doesn't seem like one of those his-n-hers plates, but I can't figure out if it references anything, either.

So, here you go, peeps:

CAXAPOK

No spaces, either. Good luck with that.

Package Story

I was standing in line at the grocery store when a misplaced magazine, GuitarEdge, caught my eye. The magazine was proclaiming the 30-year anniversary of the rock group, Van Halen. The band's main guy, Eddie Van Halen, was splashed on the cover, playing his guitar.

I appreciated how good he looked for being in the neighborhood of 50. Selling your soul to Satan has its advantages. If, in fact, he did not sell his soul to Satan, then Botox works just as well.

But then I noticed It.

Yeah, you see it, too. That can't possibly be his car keys in the side pocket. I nearly dropped the magazine. I mean, my thumb was right there!

Shiver me timbers!

Snow Day with Edmund

I found this guy, Edmund, through Rinda's Question of the Day. He's originally from Floriduh, and experienced his first snow in an unexpected place: Atlanta. His video diary really appealed to the shrink in me.

I grew up in the Great White North. I never really thought about all the people who live in snow-free zones. I honestly never wondered if they knew what they were missing; my mom had instilled in us this universal truth: if you never try It, you'll never miss It. Granted, that was her way of gently denying us things she couldn't afford, but it really does apply to a lot of things: illegal drugs, street racing, sex on park bench, swearing at the police, and so on.

Mister, originally from 'Bama, did not enjoy snow, but I think that was down to location. We were living in Maryland, just outside of Washington, DC. Traffic was insane no matter what the weather, except that bad weather multiplied the insanity to the power of -10. He hated it there. Moving to England actually provided less snow, and since England lays down more salt during the 'cold season' than can be found in the Dead Sea, Mister really wasn't so bothered by snow. Since leaving England, we haven't experienced much of any snowy weather.

I've been missing it, but I will not move back to The Corridor just for the snow. I'd rather crucify myself even though I can't hammer in the other nail. No, I'll have to vacation for the snow, but that's okay. Most mountain cabins come with hot tubs!

Thank you and good night

I was watching a national morning news program and became upset by the tosh that's being reported as news, but really isn't.

This is the real news: now-former New York Governer Eliot Spitzer broke the law. He arranged for money to be sent to pay for an illegal activity. Sending money to someone isn't illegal itself unless that money will be used to pay for illegal activities, hence the scandal. It's news also that the money hired a prostitute. This isn't what I consider tosh; it must be reported.

What is not news is the identity of the prostitute, which is now being divulged in excruciating detail.

What should be news but isn't is who was running the so-called 'escort service' which employed this and several other prostitutes.

Think of it this way: Suppose I manage a service in which my employees will, for a fee, spoon-feed a client. Unfortunately, paying for spoon-feeding is illegal everywhere in the US. The governor of some state sends me money via bank transfer to pre-pay for a spoon-feeding, and then travels to my location in order to partake of the spoon-feeding. Afterward, I pay the employee who participated in the event. Who's the bigger criminal: my employee, a wage-earner (illegal or otherwise), or me, who started the business in the first place, knowing full well that paid spoon-feeding is illegal?

I argue that the news is incorrectly focusing on the lesser criminal, the prostitute. Sure, she deserves some note, because at any time she should have said, "Hey, this is illegal! I need to quit and get myself a real job!" but didn't.

Instead the news outlets should be shouting loudest about the individual who started the "escort service" in the first place. Escort services and brothels are run by people who are, in fact, nothing more than pimps, and pimping is just as illegal or even more so than prostitution.

What we are being bombarded with instead is the prostitute's history, from her aspirations of a singing career right down to old classmates from elementary school. How the hell is that news?

I'll paraphrase the news this morning: the prostitute in the middle of this scandal was a great kid, an interesting teenager, had problems with her parents and so ran away from home to become a famous singer, fell on hard times and then became a prostitute, with strong inference that if you run away to New York City but don't make it in the Big Apple, obviously you'll turn to prostitution.

Yep, that is so newsworthy! Thanks ever so much, ABCNews!

What else has been in the news this morning? Other clients of the escort service. I'm beholden to you, NYDailyNews!

Meanwhile, we still haven't been told who employed this woman and others, or with what that person might be charged, if indicted. And that, my friends, is criminal indeed.

--
Side note: I also find it amusing that network news has censored itself from referring to the woman from the 'escort service' as a prostitute, instead preferring the term, 'call girl.'
--
Also, because I'm so pissed off at the media for their shenanigans, I refuse to hot-link my sources. I did list them, but I won't link them. They don't deserve such attention from me.

Luxury!

There was this discussion at the Obscure Store about a certain prostitute who garnered $5,000 per visit. A regular poster there offered up a new quiz, and so I took it. Here's the results:



Powered By Womens Toys



I'd say Mister's pretty darn lucky he doesn't have to pay for that!

What sad times are these

Found this on Fark:

This is an image from Amazon.com for a Playmobil product called 'Security Checkpoint.'

These are two reviews, probably the funniest, but still...

The most helpful favorable review The most helpful critical review 313 of 333 people found the following review helpful: Educational and Fun! Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it's a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor. I applaud the people who created this toy for finally being hip to our changing times. Little children... Read the full review › Published 8 days ago by Zampano › See more 5 star, 4 star reviews 976 of 995 people found the following review helpful: Great lesson for the kids! I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But... Read the full review › Published on September 9, 2005 by loosenut › See more 3 star, 2 star, 1 star reviews

And to think the most exciting thing I had to play with when I was a young tot was the Mickey Mouse Tree House Weeble Wobble set and some play dough. I can't decide if I'm jealous, or simply saddened by today's state of affairs.

Meh, it's Friday. Enjoy your weekend.

That's not in the rules!

Gary Gygax has died. Clicky.

I doth quote Slashdot:

Mearlus writes "In the recent past co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons Gary Gygax has worked with Troll Lord Games, a small tabletop RPG publisher. Their forums have up a post noting that Mr. Gygax has apparently passed away. Gygax was known, along with Dave Arneson, as the Father of Roleplaying."

I am devastated.


Edit: I was finally able to put into words how I feel; originally posted to Wheaton:

It's never easy being different, but Gary Gygax and his fantastical D&D filled our void by giving us dorks, geeks, freaks and losers a calling. With dice in hand, we found each other, banding together to form a tight-knit community.

Sure, we're still pretty weird compared to whatever society claims is 'normal,' but I'll take us over them any day.

I'll miss Gary forever.

Why Georgia Sucks and Why Preston Smith is My Hero

Some things are private. A person's body weight is one of them. Yes, there is an epidemic of overweight children, probably driven by busy or inattentive/self-absorbed parents who have forgotten it really is OK to send the little buggers outside in the sunshine. Sometimes even in the rain!

Here's my beef, courtesy of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Senate mandates weighing Georgia kids twice a year
New law would requires schools to track weight and BMI

By ANDREA JONES
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 02/29/08 Georgia's elementary school children will be weighed and measured twice a year by school officials under a bill that passed the Senate Friday.

The legislation requires schools to track kids' body mass index, a combination of height and weight used to determine whether the child is healthy. The bill, sponsored by Sen. Joseph Carter (R-Tifton) requires that schools post the aggregate BMI information on their Web sites and follow state regulations on offering physical education classes.

Carter said the bill would work much like test scores, with schools reporting their data so parents could check out how they measure up to other area schools. Children would be weighed in a confidential office setting and their personal data would not become public, he said.

"Sally, step into the office, step up on the scale, that's about as invasive as it gets," he said. More than one in three kids in Georgia is overweight, he said. "The presence of childhood obesity is staggering."

Arkansas was the first state to implement such a rule, in 2003. The bill, which mirrors legislation in several other states, passed 37 to 13 after a heated debate.

Sen. Preston Smith (R-Rome) said "the long arm of the government" should stop reaching into peoples' private lives.

He said worries that schools will pressure children to lose weight and stigmatize them, mimicking what he worried school officials would say: "Come on, pick it up fat kid, we're not going to get money if you don't!""

As he left the podium, refusing to engage in a debate, Sen. Renee Unterman (R-Buford) who supports the bill, shouted "chicken!" at him.

It's not the first time lawmakers have tried to take up childhood obesity. Carter introduced a bill in 2006 that would have required more PE for Georgia elementary and middle schoolers, but the measure failed.

I find it interesting that a state, whose department of education allowed its elementary schools to eliminate unstructured recess and sell off playgrounds, is now trying to curb its obesity problem. Irony? Probably, but not MY irony.

If my children are fat, my pediatrician will say so. And I will take the steps necessary to slim them down. My tax dollars go to pay the salaries of educators. So they better damn well stick to educating.

I promise, I'll sell my soul to organized religion in order to homeschool my children before I allow anyone other than my chosen medical team to track my children's body weight.

PS: I added the bolds and underlines in the article. That's the most important part, in my opinion.