Interrogation Room

My friend, The Beav, offered up himself for information slaughter. In honor of his sacrifice, I have done the same. These are the questions he asked, and my responses:


1. When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Happy.

I wasn't, but I wanted to be so very desperately. My parents hated each other and fought constantly, vicious battles that always ended in a visit from the police or my father storming away, leaving us stranded in the middle of nowhere with no help from neighbors who kept themselves to themselves, even when my mother lay helpless and damaged.

I wanted what was advertised on television: parents who were in love, who adored their children and lived to sing their praises, a happy family. It never truly happened, but we got close enough when my parents split, and finally we could breathe without fear. We were cold and hungry most winter nights, sometimes we went without power or water for a few days, but it was better than the fear and disappointment.

I know this isn't what you meant. And so, to answer that question, I wanted to be an astronaut. I was very good in science and math, with a thirst for knowledge of the universe. Enter my parents, or more specifically, my father. "College?! Are you nuts? What the hell does a girl do with a college education anyway? You're just gonna get married..." My mother never contradicted him, and I was never praised in my math and science achievements until they began to not matter anymore. In the end, I only wanted to escape and be "something, anything, but married and pregnant."

Irony is a bitch.

2. What person whom you have never met has influenced your life the most?

My father's father. He died in a car crash of his own making after having had a few beers at the bar with his workmates before setting off home. My grandmother always blamed one of her sons for denying her husband much-needed sleep by being an obnoxious little asshole--and he probably was; all of her sons were--but in truth he bought his death on his own. Unfortunately, he also bought the deaths of innocents.

I will never drink and drive, and I will drive to the ends of the earth for anyone who calls me to their rescue. I also will never forget that I am part of a family, part of a team, and that there are many people who depend upon me; I am not an island, nor am I more important than anyone else.

3. What is your biggest life-goal/dream?

To never go hungry again, or to be cold and miserable, or dirty. And to also find myself at the natural end of my life without an arrest record. That would be spiffy, I think.

4. Choose a moment in your life that you feel set you on your current course, and describe the moment and what it meant to you.

The quiet afternoon hours of a Spring day in 1991, I saw my dreams of college wash away with the dawn and the receipt of a denial of financial assistance. A few days later, I lied to a police officer to protect a person dear to my heart from getting arrested for drunk driving. Hypocrisy, thou art an unkind mistress! I knew then I needed to escape my life, or I would never be more than my upbringing--a kept woman, dependent on the generosity of my partner, and forever pregnant.

In a very low, morose state of mind, I scruffed on the sofa for the entire day. At one point during my wallowing, a commercial for the United States Air Force Reserves came on the television, slowly filtering into my foggy brain until it fully registered that here was my out: employment and a college education, in a land far, far away.

The very next day, I went to the recruiting station, and before the week was out, I was delayed-enlisted into the Active Duty Air Force, awaiting that call to get me the hell out of Dodge. I told no one, afraid someone would guilt me out of my plans, as was the usual routine. Even the day I left, I still kept my secret. No one knew the truth until I was safely tucked away in Texas, a thousand miles (literally) from everything I knew and everyone who could influence me.

I was free!

5. If you could choose your name, what would you choose? Why?

When I was in elementary school, I spelled my name every which way I could think of, because I hated it. I wanted to be called "Tracy." It just seemed so pretty and girly, and I was anything but. My name was old-sounding, old-fashioned, and it made everyone want to start singing one of several insipid songs. Plus I was chubby, and many people would point out the similarities between me and a certain snack cake that (sort-of) shared my name.

However, as an adult, I prefer my name as it is, because it's old-fashioned and very rare among my generation. I am relatively unique, and old enough now that most people don't bother busting out in song because it would just make them look pretty stupid.

I've come to terms with me, even Fat Me. I'm good, you know?

---

And now, here's the deal: If you, Dearest Reader, would like me to interview you, just leave me a comment and I'll send you your very own five (5) questions. But you have to follow Da Rules (see below).

Thank you for reading my blog.
Soo

Da Rules:

You have to link back to the original post (http://immoralmatriarch.com/questionsagain) and include the following in your post:

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.