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  • You can't have psychosis! Not yours!

    Well, well, well.

    Turns out those psychology quizzes hit closer to the mark than I had wanted to admit. Take the Star Wars Twins Test, for instance. Among other characters, I netted a twinship with Grand Moff Tarkin. Most people remember that he's the guy who blew up Leia's planet, even after she gave him information in order to save the planet from being blown up.

    That pretty much ticked me off. I mean, I'm not really the kind of person who holds grudges that can best be described as "criminally insane." After all, I am a caring, sharing, smooth-operator kind of individual as evidenced by a couple of my other twins: Qui-Gon Jinn and Lando!

    The real reason Tarkin was selected as my "conscientiousness" twin has little to do with revenge, and everything to do with my attention to detail, or lack thereof. You see, just like Tarkin, I can plot the ultimate plan, whether it's a road trip, house moving, or Death Star. However, the test indicated that also just like Tarkin, I am arrogant to a certain point, causing me to overlook "small but crucial details," such as vulnerable exhaust ports or whether my satellite box is actually hooked up to the wall.

    Yesterday, I had to rearrange my living room to accommodate the Christmas tree. In doing so, I unhooked the AV theater and moved everything around. I went through the painstaking process of hooking everything back up (or so I thought). However, all of a sudden the satellite dish wasn't working.

    I recalled that last week's signal check indicated I had about 30% signal, and that I had gone outside to give the post a nudge. The signal jumped to about 60%--not great, but better than before. So I got out the tools, a compass, and got to fiddling. Two hours later, still no signal. I was about to give up and call the cable company when Mister (The Elitist City Dweller) asks, "So, it's hooked up to the wall, right?"

    To which I replied, "GAH!"

    In my defense, my new, albeit unnecessary, fiddling has boosted my signal up to 96%.

    And thanks to the intervention of our local Sith, my Death Star--I mean, directv dish--lives to see another day.

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