Never Do It Alone!

**This is a piece I put together some time ago, but didn't have the time to finish. For lack of anything else about which I'd like to rant, I've finished this piece to share with you now. Enjoy.

I am not a drinker. My medical status will deteriorate if I imbibe regularly, which is exactly what I would be doing if I did not have a "medical status." So I am The Driver. I am also the bill-payer, the tip-giver, the arrest-deterrent, and excuse-provider. Occasionally I even break up a fight.

I am also The Voice Of Experience.

I always encourage people to never drink alone, at home or at the bar. It's just a matter of safety. When you go drinking with a sober friend, that person is tasked with "watching your back." No one will tamper with your drink while you're not looking, gross people will not be able to talk you into going back to "my place," and you will be 86'd before the really embarrassing stuff starts.

While it seems more like common sense to me, I read more and more articles about people, mostly women, who find more trouble when they're out drinking alone. Sure, they may be with a group of friends, but when everyone is drinking, then they are all "alone." At least, that's how I see it. The bartender may know you by name, may have gotten to know a little bit about you personally, but it's not their job to babysit every single person in the bar. Crowd control? Yes. Personal shepherd? No.

One more piece of wisdom before I go: always remember that spooning leads to forking.