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  • Oh Fark, How I Love Thee

    Without Fark, I would not find such gems as this. But rather than force you to clicky, I'll sum up.

    Georgia needs water, and thinks reassigning the border with Tennessee is the answer, since Alabama won't give them any water. Tennessee kindly disagrees. However, they do so with grace, and even goes so far as to send forth a peace offering, a truckload of bottled water, to prevent hard feelings, along with this declaration:


    WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and

    WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and

    WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and

    WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and

    WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

    WHEREAS, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

    NOW THEREFORE, in the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that

    I, Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

    Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as

    “Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day”

    Dear Lord, but that was funny.

    Courtesy of the Chattanoogan newspaper.

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