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  • One-way ticket to Hell, please--coach.

    Oh, Fark. You are so bad, and I totally failed my saving throw vs temptation. You posted a church sign generator, and I went there.

    Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, wicked Zoot!

    This is what I made:

    I borrowed the idea for this from a couple of churches around here in Augusta. I swear, they are just so very over-the-top. One is called "Christ's Sanctified Holy Church." Not just holy, not just sanctified, but both holy and sanctified, because just one isn't enough for them. Oh, no. They get double the Jesus, kindof like a two-for-one, a biblical BOGO, if you will. The other is "Church of the Holy Comforter." I get this image of an oversize, super-fluffy duvet just floating around, waiting to snuggle some poor sap who's having a bad day.

    It makes me laugh, although it's a rather rude laugh, but a laugh nonetheless, whenever I'm feeling a little blue. Which lately is more often than not.

    Actually, as churches go, that "holy comforter" image is a religion I could get into! Is it possible I'm salvageable? Only if I can sleep in on weekends, and come in for sermons whenever I feel like it, and the preacher has a mute button.


    Beav said...

    I want a holy comforter. All I've got at the moment is the crappy blanket that comes with the room.

    Soo Mi said...

    aw. dude, email me your addy. I'll hook you up.

    Anonymous said...

    Being a member of the "Un-Holy Nonconformers and Holy Crap What's Happen Now Church of In God We Trust the Oh Mighty Dollar."
    I say Repent Sinners the sky is falling. ; p

    Anonymous said...

    Oh yeah, I'm the only member.
    Maybe because I think God looks like Frank Zappa and Heaven looks like the inside of a Wore House. ; )


    Soo Mi said...

    Heaven should look like the inside of a whore house, smell like a spring meadow, and have an all-you-can-eat buffet with 4 kinds of pudding on the desert bar and twinkees, too.

    I dunno about the Zappa thing, though. I was thinking more like Bob Marley or Arlo Guthrie.

    Anonymous said...

    Pudding is great and cheese cake.
    Bob and Arlo are strange enough to be God.
    At least I didn't say God looked like Bush or Gore.
    Lord BOB ! That has a nice ring to it. ; )
    Skillet Lady and I enjoyed the church sign site and your sign was great.
    Mine was about PLAY BINGO and Race Cards with Revs. $harpton & Jac$on!

    Soo Mi said...

    Great gravy, that must've been a fun one.

    Playing Texas Hold'em with a pack of race cards. You are bad, dude. Welcome to naughty table!

    Anonymous said...

    Welp! I guesse I'll be smoking a turd in Hell with you. : )

    JeeZZahs says " F?$k You PAY ME!!"

    Anonymous said...

    I'd be willing to tithe a bit, if it meant having a snooze in the holy comforter.




    Soo Mi said...

    The best line from any Batman movie ever, and I don't remember which one it was, but Batman and Robin were on this contraption, and Robin says, "Holy rusted metal, Batman!"

    Batman replies confusedly. Robin says, "No, really. It's holey rusted metal, Batman." The camera pans down to a dangerous-looking rusted metal structure full of small holes.

    That one tops Val Kilmer's "It's the car. The chicks dig the car." And that's saying something, because I adore Val Kilmer, especially in Top Secret!

    Beav said...

    You do have to admit, that was about the only good thing from that movie. I mean, really. Nipples? Ewww...

    (Now if they wanted to do that w/ Batgirl's costume....)