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  • 'Tis the season (to eat hot wings)

    [American] Football Season is upon us. Let us rejoice!

    Oh, come! All ye faithful!
    To eat and get drunk!
    Oh, come ye, oh, come ye to the stadium;
    Come and behold him
    QB of my fav'rite team!
    Oh, come, let us adore him,
    Oh, come, let us adore him,
    Oh, come, let us adore him,
    Christ, what's the score?

    I have been a life-long fan of the Dallas Cowboys. I've never been a rabid fan, keeping stats in my head like a chartered accountant. I don't watch the pre-season games; in fact, I don't normally watch the regular-season games. I don't even know the theme song to Monday Night Football or the names of regular commentators unless they're uber-hawt (Howie Long) or really fuddy (John Madden).

    I'm just a fan. I like the competition and sometimes the guys look really nice in those tight pants. I also like to throw a party, and it's a great way to show off my Hostess with the Mostess mad skilz.

    I do, however, thoroughly enjoy the rabid fans. Those freaks who paint their bellies and then sit through the snow for 4 hours cheering endlessly for their [losing] team; the guys who seriously bunch their panties in the presence of The Enemy; the drunks in the Dawg Pound. Great entertainment!

    For fun today, I read a blog about Cowboys QB Tony Romo and his rescue of an elderly couple with a flat tire. The blog was nice, a bit gushy, and suggested that Tom Brady had better watch out or Romo was going to steal his "Nicest Guy in the NFL" award.

    The comments below the blog, however, were priceless. Almost instantly, a few attacked the Cowboys, and particularly "Tony Homo." The bitch-slapping commenced. After one particularly snotty anti-Cowboys rant, this rejoinder was posted:

    "Hey [name redacted]- do you think that anyone in the Cowboy organization gives a f*** what you think- you queer piece of cheese butt, funky smelling toe jam faced ugly bastard. I hope that you realize that 100 men canot have sex with your girlfriend when your girlfriend is your right hand. I bet you think that Jeremy Shockey has a pretty mouth."


    I swear, I think that's going to become part of my own personal repertoire of smart-assery. I'll editing it for grammattery, and will have to practice it so I can say it without giggling. I'll also leaving out "queer," because that's just not PC.

    I have also learned today that The Haters look down on Cowboys fans as "Romo-sexuals." I has a label! Woot!

    4 comments:

    Anonymous said...

    "Hey [name redacted]- do you think that anyone in the Cowboy organization gives a f*** what you think- you queer piece of cheese butt, funky smelling toe jam faced ugly bastard. I hope that you realize that 100 men canot have sex with your girlfriend when your girlfriend is your right hand. I bet you think that Jeremy Shockey has a pretty mouth."

    That sounds like Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket.

    I don't know crap about football, never like it.

    Am I a Romo ?
    Bob

    Anonymous said...

    Oh yeah Nice story about Tony Romo.
    Gave me back a little faith in mankind. : )
    Just when I was thinking all NFL players were a bunch of over payed Cry Babies.

    Bob

    Soo Mi said...

    I guess I'm a 'Romo,' because I think he's just the nicest guy ever. He's really just so friendly.

    Oh, and thanks for that--now I've got that whole put-down in my head and it sounds like R. Lee Earmey.

    Anonymous said...

    Poor Early Army he’s been reduced to selling Combat Tupperware, Glocks.
    I try to be a nice guy, but there is always someone that takes this as a sign of weakness.
    I hate getting Screwed over.
    I can live with (mySelves) whatever I do Right or Wrong. That's what counts for US. ; )
    Bob