Oh, Augusta. How do I love thee?
Well, the truth is, I don't. You're a muddled, unattractive town that appears to have been left for dead after the CSA surrendered. May I live a thousand years and never see another town like you.
Why the hate? Well, today I took a wrong turn. Actually, it should have been the right turn. However, a 30-minute trip home ended up taking an hour and a half and I ended up in South Carolina before I could come close to figuring out what street I was on.
I turned down Milledgeville and then turned neither left nor right for quite some time, but somehow ended up not on Milledgeville but on MLK Blvd, James Brown Blvd, and Twiggs Street. Turning left onto a side street brought me to another Twiggs Street. Turning right onto a spur brought me to a third Twiggs street. Turning left off that Twiggs Street brought me to Laney-Walker, which took me to James Brown and then all of a sudden I was crossing the Savannah River and there was South Carolina.
Hardly encouraging. Worse, I drove through neighborhoods that reminded me of Patterson Avenue in south Baltimore. How can the town spend so much money on so little ($7000 on a plaque to commemorate James Brown, to be placed at the "civic center") and leave these wretched hovels in their present state? I drove by a legless man in a wheelchair that looked like it was held together by duct tape. Sweet baby Jesus, it's nearly enough to turn me into a socialist!
Even "downtown" looks a bit like crap. There are small pockets of structural rehab, but for the love of all you hold dear, do not--I repeat, do not--wander off that main strip or you're right back into slumville. How sad and pathetic.
It's all just so damned depressing.
The Fiery Chasm
attempting to find crow on which to dine
Mister has decided I may have been a bit harsh in my judgment of Augusta, Georgia, of the United States of America, North America, Earth, Inner Solar System.
I declared that it was impossible or nearly impossible to find free or cheap stuff to do here that was family-friendly. He pointed out that he found a free symphony presentation, which the kids enjoyed immensely, once we got their grumbly butts into the church and the band started playing.
Yes, we were in a church. But that's not what's important right now.
I pointed out that one free event in two months hardly qualified as "misrepresentation." Granted, there is a free monthly newspaper geared towards parents of preschoolers, but it very often does not contain one-off activities that might interest my kids, even if I forced them to do them.
However, in fairness to Mister and his tender sensibilities, I am embarking on a quest To Discover Stuff For Kids And Teens To Do That Is Free Or Cheap In Augusta. It may be dangerous. I may not return unscathed. I may even be attacked by zombies.
Keep in touch, and wish me luck!
Sweaty-palm fanboy squee -edited
I went to Dragon*Con with The Girl. She got to do stuff she wanted, and even enjoyed one thing I wanted, although most of the stuff we did appealed more to her taste than mine. How could it be otherwise? We went for her benefit--this time. Given the chance, I would have spent most of the time in Trek Trak, Dr. Who, LOTR and so on. Here's how it went down (pics to be posted later) :
Sunday
-Arrived, registered, was asked if my name really was "So." Twice.
-Wandered around a bit until we discovered that Sean Astin was in the middle of a Q&A. !!
-Wandered some more until time for the Voice-Over Actors Q&A, Vic Mignogna and Clay Croker and some other guy I don't remember.
-Wandered the Walk of Fame for autographs/photos/fanboy freak-outs
-------Vic Mignogna signed The Girl's Chinese parasol and let her take his picture (sorry for blinding you!)
-------I saw Robert Llewellyn, Mickey Dolenz, Robert Englund, and George Tekai (lines too long or too expensive for me to partake)
-Finished with some souvenir shopping. Spent too much money, but Mister got 3 old comics to fill in the blanks, The Boy got a Nintendo-brand t-shirt, and The Baby got a cute cuddly that blows kisses when you squeeze its belly.
Monday
-Gaia. Do I really need to say more?
-------Developer DJ something gave The Girl an autographed card with his personal avatar on it.
-Wandered a different vending zone.
-------Found Troll & Toad, my favorite gaming-supply website
------------>I gagged so dramatically when offered a look at the 4.0 Player's Handbook, the dealer gave me a free Dragonlance book. Bought 2 DM screens and a fuzzy D12.
-Turned the corner and found myself standing face-to-face with Margaret Weis, co-author of my new Dragonlance book and a slew of novels including the series I'm currently reading, co-creator of the Dragonlance series.
-------Discovered I was having trouble breathing.
-------Gushingly confessed to having played the game for 20 years.
-------Declared that series to be the best ever produced for the brand.
-------Got the book autographed.
-------And nearly passed out.
-Found a book dealer in possession of a volume missing from The Girl's anime collection.
End of event. A++++++ will attend again!!!!1eleventy!!
If George Strait had been there, I would have imploded. Except he's not exactly the sci-fi/manga type and would fit in about as well as Jeffrey Ross would at a charm school.
EDIT: next year, we're all going, and we'll all be in costume. Originally, I was just going to put together a Ren-Fest type costume, like a corsetted pirate or a bar wench. But now I've decided I"m going to go as Domo-kun, if I can work out the finer details, like how to make the costume.
Your ego--is it 'check in' or 'carry on'?
This past weekend, I was in the presence of a hundred or few celebrities both major and minor who adore their fans so much, they even hug them if the fan isn't too smelly or strange.
Today, however, I was reminded of the other sort of celebrity: the one who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips, but in fact is not.
Check this out:
I underlined the poncy git-boy bit. I mean, what a turd bag. He could only have managed to be more full of himself if he'd been wearing that t-shirt that says, "I'm kindof a big deal."Pete Doherty breaks down in tears at airport
Rocker weeps after missing flight to Austria
Monday, 1 September 2008
Pete Doherty was so upset when his hat got creased at an airport that he started crying.
The Babyshambles frontman, 29, was due to fly to Salzburg, Austria, to play a gig last weekend.
‘I informed British Airways of my late arrival,’ he explains. 'I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport.'Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance.'
And Pete admits he was so frustrated he started to blub.
‘I was crying but I didn't want them to see,' he tells the Sunday Mirror.
'A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late.’
Alison Adey
Someone please slap the self-importance out of this idiot. And remind me to never listen to his music.
And a cynic doesn't say you missed the plane, jackass. Reality says you missed the plane. Get your lazy, self-involved arse out of bed an hour earlier like the rest of us. Jesus-Mary-and-Joseph! Get a life already!
PS: I underlined the really stupid stuff he said. Otherwise, Ms Adey did an excellent job of reporting this nonsense.
Open Letter
Dear Atlanta:
I sort of had a lovely time in your lovely city this weekend. The part I didn't like wasn't your fault, so please don't take that personally. I'll be contacting the corporate office for the hotel to settle that issue.
Your Marta trains are quite nice. They were clean and the riders were polite and kept to themselves. The schedules were easy to follow, and the free daily parking at certain prime locations was a marvelous discovery. I did not get to experience the bus line; perhaps next time I will.
Your citizens are also very nice. From the over-dressed hotel employees (nice tuxedos, Ritz-Carlton!) to the wandering homeless, everyone was polite and/or helpful. The city was filled with delightful restaurants, cafes, and shops.
I am curious about one thing, however. Is there a regulation or law in place that prevents grocery stores from being seen from a main driving route? I was certain that if I drove around areas that appeared residential, I'd find something like a Kroger's, or even just a little Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, I did not. Perhaps it's just me, which is quite likely. I did not have a "navigator" during that hour and thirty minutes I drove around northern Atlanta trying to locate even one storefront whose words in English--no hablo Espanol--indicated the facility catered to the hungry D-I-Y cooks.
Thank you again, Atlanta, for a delightful outting. Please consider opening a few grocery stores.
Warm regards,
Soo
Super Duh!
Some of my readers may wonder at the purpose of Fark.com. One really must read the history of Fark--how it started as a repository of links to the most ridiculous events posted online. It has evolved into more than that. Now it is a repository of links to the most incredibly stupid, obvious, waste of journalism found on the internet as well as just plain ridiculousness.
Fark missed this one that I found on Yahoo:
Little-Known Palin May Be Benefit or Bust for McCain's Campaign
I'm thinking thusly: Are Americans that stupid?
McCain's record and popularity weren't enough to prevent him from gaining the nomination of his party. One must conclude then that most Republicans would have voted for him on election day. He could have chosen any obscure male politician, just as Obama has done, and still have the same odds for winning the election: 50-50.
Selecting a female for a running mate may adjust those odds slightly, but he still only has half a chance of winning, since only 2 people have a shot at winning the election: McCain and Obama.
Sure, one might look back in time to the 1980s and point out that Walter Mondale lost his bid for President in an outstanding defeat, and that his running mate was a female. However, one must remove the rose-coloured glasses and remember that Mondale was running against a most popular president and that Mondale was a major douche. He could have selected Robert Redford and still lost. Hell, he could have been the only one on the ticket and still lost.
How do I plan to vote? Once again, selecting the lesser of two evils leaves a bad taste. When faced with this choice, I might be inclined to vote for the Green Party candidate. However, I am considering a write-in candidate, but I'm torn: Luke Skywalker of the Jedi Party, or Harvey the Wonder Llama.
Redemption. Sort of, but not really.
We are hard-pressed to find anything interesting for our kids to do here in the tri-county area that doesn't cost a metric assload of money for a family of five. Granted, we haven't tried very hard considering that the kids just aren't used to the levels of humidity here. But now that things are settling in and the area has received some rain lately, we're ready to get out and about.
For some fun and to do something interesting, we drove three hours each way to go see some rescued bears. That was cheaper than anything we could have done here at the time, even if you factor in the tank of gas and dinner out. Even going to the ballpark to see the local Major League farm team is pricey now that they don't let you bring in your own snacks.
Augusta has partially redeemed itself. What I have discovered isn't exactly cheap, and while it is family-friendly, it isn't for our girls--The Boy is more adventurous. Mister and I found that the one and only Indian restaurant in the greater Augusta area is still in business and their food is most delicious, as well as an assortment of Thai restaurants that have opened since we left in 2003.
In closing, we might not be able to get out and get some exercise, but we will not go hungry for intestinally-directed cultural diversity. Good thing there are plenty of pay-to-play gyms!
Accidentally Retarded
- fear of the dark
- fear of forests
- fear of wide open spaces
- fear of crowds
- fear of falling
- fear of dark waters
and continues on until I start looking up therapists again. One thing I'm not afraid of is the number 13. I think that's just plain silly.
However, of all the things I'm afraid of, nothing--and I mean absolutely nothing--terrifies me more than an eight-legged freak of nature, that thing called "spider."
I regularly embarrass myself over them. My father-in-law didn't believe in my phobia and pulled a prank on me by picking up a dust bunny, pretending it was a spider, and then tossing it at me. My mother-in-law says that in 40+ years of marriage to him, I'm the first person she's ever known who has been issued an apology by him. Also, in front of friends,--as an adult, mind--I've climbed a trampoline while screaming like Fay Wray to escape the dirty beggars. Don't get me started on how the kids have tortured me.
So a few days ago, I saw an entry on Fark about a spider lamp. A few days later, my curiosity decides to kill a cat and I click the comments link.
I will never sleep again.
Land of Milk and Honey
The different military branches are not run identically. Each has their own traditions and policies guiding them, and while the Air Force got its start as part of the Army, these days it is quite dissimilar in its approach to many military functions. The Navy is unfortunately too stuck in its traditions, and can be quite archaic.
The military services do in fact have one attribute that binds them together in a unique kinship: all services appear to suckle the teat of Fox News.
Each military office which offers a television monitor for its waiting patrons shows the Fox cable news channel exclusively. Certain workplaces reference national media reports in order to keep abreast of what the public knows, and to do this they watch Fox. This bothers me immensely as it appears to be an endorsement of the channel and its point of view, which often comes off [to me] as decidedly right-leaning.
The least they could do is rotate between the many cable-news offerings, thereby presenting a front that appears unbiased.
Stairway to Heaven
Augusta, Georgia, is the armpit of the state. As experienced so far, there is nothing to do in the "greater metro" area that is family-friendly while not requiring a large outlay of cash. There is also this pervasive stench of pulp mill. If you've never smelled stale pulp mill, imagine sitting in a half-full porta-potty for about an hour on a warm day, just for fun. And to make it all complete, the entire town appears to be under construction. It's fab fun for the whole fam.
Tonight, The Boy announces he must have a Spanish-English dictionary for English class. Just kidding. It's really for science.
So Mister and I head off for the book store. I was expecting it to be a tiny, useless den of inanity. After all, Augusta has always been and will continue to be an utter disappointment. I can't possibly expect local retailers to keep up with "modern times."
I was wrong.
The coffee shop didn't overpower you at the door, there were actually sales reps wandering around keeping the snowflakes from running and screaming, and the whole place was massive.
We had to walk all the way to the back to find the language section, which seemed to take a really long time, and along the way we passed the Manga section. After collecting the required text, we perused the Mangas in search of stuff for The Girl. Another display caught my eye, and I couldn't help myself. I just had to look. It was their gaming gear, and it was packed!
So many modules, so many options, so many books. Nearly everything ever put out for E3.5 including many items that were older modules that had been updated for the "new" rules. And then, there were the E4 books.
Wow.
I'm busy drooling over the collection, calculating how many hours I'll have to work to buy one of everything, when Mister comes along and suggests that I pick a module and then run it with him and the kids. Drooling stops immediately, and the jaw drops. Pick one? One?!
He's not the geek I thought he was.
Anyhoo, I can't run a game, anyway. I'm not a rules bitch. And I don't have the bully-boy ball-busting 'tude required to keep the geeks in their place. ... Wait, what was the question?
EDITED: I must apologize, and I do, most sincerely. It appears that most of the Deep South is culturally deficient, not just Georgia.
In order to watch Harry Potter in 3-D as we always do, we will have to make a weekend trip of it by driving to either Chattanooga, Tennessee or Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. While Alabama does in fact have one more Imax theater than Georgia, none host movies in 3-D.
I have moved to Hell. At least it's raining today. -21 Aug 08
Aaaaaaand...... Cut!
It's been a week-long journey, but I may finally be at the end. Just a few more tweaks, and the resume can be turned in today.
I spent all day Friday just trying to fill out the online application. Holy crap, is that time-consuming. The short story is that I had to complete an electronic form that contained all the information found in my resume.
So why am I wasting the paper? Because apparently, businesses still want the papercuts.
Don't they know there's a war on? Save the trees, dammit!
PS: fellow geeks, if you haven't found "The Gamers" on youtube, find it now--and stop being so lazy. You're already in the basement, you might as well look at something other than porn for a few minutes.
Yippy-kai-ay.
So I take the rugrats out for lunch. As we're leaving, I notice this super-jacked-up black pick-up truck in the handicap spot. I check it over and sure enough, hanging on the rear-view just under the really big "Fear This" sticker, is the blue tag.
Read it again: a jacked-up truck, a 'Fear This' sticker, and a handicap tag.
...?
I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would put me away!
Hmmm.
I am putting together my resume. I've just spent the last hour or so just composing the cover letter. I had no idea this was so very difficult. I certainly understand why there are people out there who are willing to pay others to build a resume for them.
I also have a couple of hiccups to the business of getting employed, apart from having to build a resume. I don't have official transcripts, nor did I ever think to get references from anywhere that I had either been employed or had volunteered. And now that may hinder my chances of getting a decent job.
If I am reduced to working at Walmart, I may just decide to stay poor. It's too bad there isn't a watery tart nearby with a scimitar in hand to grant me instant, supreme executive power.
/ facepalm /
Most people deal in "real time." Shortly after Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and Wilma battered the southern coastlines, gas prices in the US started to climb. This was partially because of damaged pipelines in the Gulf of Mexico and refineries in the South. "Big Oil" really didn't seem to be too badly affected by the shortened supplies, however, and posted record profits. Soon, the Middle East suppliers got on board, and prices began to skyrocket.
While that minority with six-figure-plus incomes continued to live large and larger along with those whose self-esteem is tied into the appearance they present to the world, the rest of us tightened our belts. We seemed to just know what was ahead: higher gas prices over a long time equals higher prices on everything. It was time for change on a massive scale.
About two years ago, interest in and sales of earth-friendly items began to increase. Compact fluorescent light bulbs have been available at least since I bought my first one in 2000, but only now became popular. New home construction starting offering options previously consigned to the realm of Hippies: solar panels, energy-efficient appliances, construction materials culled from managed forests and recycled scraps, even rain-water reclamation units. And regular folks started looking hard at their vehicles and the prices at the pump.
Soon, regular folks began trading in their SUVs for smarter choices, occasionally coming out ahead in the deal with smaller car loan payments as well as better fuel economy and cheaper insurance rates. At one point within the last two years, auto dealers were feeling the pinch of all those trade-ins because they were not turning over as quickly as they used to. You see, in the past, one SUV was normally returned in exchange for another SUV, and the traded vehicle would practically fly off the lot. Not any more.
For regular folks, it was about saving money anywhere possible, which is an acceptable reason to change attitudes. For the hippies like me it has always been about less trash in landfills (CFL bulbs last 8-10 years, incandenscents last 6 months) and less carbon in the atmosphere because of power plants and cars--saving money is just an added bonus.
Big Business, on the other hand, apparently hasn't figured that out.
In spite of never-ending high fuel prices and the ever-increasing interest in hybrid and electric vehicles, American automakers continued to design bigger and bigger SUVs and pick-up trucks with horrible fuel economy. Sure, they offer hybrid SUVs and pick-ups, but just check out their so-called fuel economy. The 2009 Chevy Tahoe hybrid gets 20 mpg on the highway, only one mile more than the standard Tahoe.
The sad thing is, when it comes to SUVs, even the so-called imports fail to impress.
The buying public had taken notice of the moths in the wallet long ago, but it has taken Big Business too long to wake up. Today, Yahoo News posted this article concerning the incredible losses of one American automaker in its trucks-and-SUVs division. Many Americans are about to lose their jobs because their corporation is being run by knuckleheads who can't see the forest for the trees.
For shame. Once again, I weep for this nation.
PS: compare fuel economy here!
and now for something completely....immature!
In the military, as in life, you meet a lot of people. Some of them will have strange or ironic names. For instance, the Sailor named "Frost," or an Airman named "Seaman," or that 4'10" lady driving the ginormous SUV named "Midgette."
Today, I was out with one of the younglings and noticed this name on a soldier: Fuchtman.
Yeah, I giggled.
while my piano* gently weeps
*I don't play the guitar
On the cover is a darling child with a headline indicating that this child has finally "met" its birth siblings. Never mind that the two celebrities have adopted a herd of munchkins, the only kids of theirs that the magazine really cares about are the ones they spawned. There are sidelines as well, including one that indicates that brad hugged his newborn twins to his bare chest.
You know what's pathetic about that last line? I practically quoted that.
Why is it important to know such intimate details about anyone's family life? Mister hugged his babies, with and without a shirt on. One was also a scary birth. I don't see any magazine giving a flying damn about that.
I can't help but feel sorry for celebrities on the one hand, because everyone deserves a little privacy. On the other hand, I know that in most cases, these celebrities made the choice to become famous, and that loss of privacy was something they were aware was a side effect.
However, I feel most sorry for the poor saps who buy the rags that delve so deeply into the personal lives of celebrities. Get your own life, people.
Who's your daddy?
Just to prove that how you feel at any given moment can skew the results of any one-off survey, I take the Superhero personality quiz every few months or so. My first result set me as Mystique, which was rather interesting, since she's technically a baddie. The only redemption from that particular survey was that Wonder Woman was my #5.
I've taken it a couple of times since, transforming from Mystique to Spiderman to Green Lantern. Once again, the only thing that kept me from slapping my monitor was that Wonder Woman was in the top 5 for each event. Granted, any female superhero would have done just fine, but there's something special about Wonder Woman. Maybe it's the boots. I dunno.
Anyhoo, I just completed the test one more time. I'm feeling pretty good right now, even though money is especially tight and the oven is broken (I'm desperate for some cake, you know). Here are the latest results:
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
All I have to say is that thank god Wonder Woman is still in the top 5, or I'd start worrying about the direction in which my personality is heading. Oh, and about that "mild-mannered" thing: it's just a fluke. There's very little "mild" about me!
And after that.... Spank me!
You think you live in an okay, family-friendly 'hood. You've got a sheriff's deputy and his family living on your street. That same police force patrols your street every day on its way to do a security check on the nearby elementary school. It's generally quiet during the day and almost silent during the night.
And then your satellite installation technician gets propositioned by a bored local teen looking, um, a "job."
Yes, you read that correctly. I had to call the police to report that the [male] satellite technician who was installing my ultra-fancy dishes and lines was propositioned by a teenage boy who offered to perform oral sex for some cash.
The entire conversation began about 20 minutes before when the boy appeared to be casing the tech's van, so the tech asked the boy what he was up to. The boy responded that he was, um, looking for a job. The tech pointed out he was nearly done, but that the boy might talk to The Homeowner about digging a shallow trench for the satellite cables to be buried in. The teen replies that he wasn't really interested in work, he was thinking instead about a, um, well, "there's a word for it..."
The tech asks the boy what he's talking about, and so he finally explains. The tech tells the boy to get lost before he calls the police. The boy just sits down on the curb like he's waiting for the guy to change his mind. And so that's where I come in: alerted by the tech, I call the police.
Strange days.
PS: the deputy who arrived to my house seemed surprised to see me, and well-pleased when I mentioned that I had just moved in. He was very obvious in his taking in every detail--the different car, the better-kept lawn, me. I really, really hate my ex-tenant more than ever now.
The continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs
To date, she and her juvenile delinquents are responsible for destroying nine window blinds, an entry door, and a metal shed by shooting them with pellet guns, damaging the lower lawn with vehicles, letting the upper lawn go to waste (it'll take all fall and most of the winter to remove the creeping vines and trash), creating a haz-mat situation resulting in the loss of a perfectly functional refrigerator to mold, ruining an entire house of carpet, damaging bathtub tiles and the attic ladder, damaging several interior doors by kicking them off the hinges, spraying drinks onto the ceiling, losing nearly every overhead light fixture cover, allowing a pest infestation, somehow causing most of the oven range to fail, and causing mass havoc in the neighborhood which resulted in the sheriff being well-acquainted with our address, and not because he lives next door.
Last night, however, I had a most sinister laugh at her expense.
I was up late last night doing some sewing when the doorbell rang at 1 am. I located my softball bat and then walked up to the door for a peek out the window. Two guys were standing there, one with a clipboard, the other about the size of a Mack truck with arms like I've never seen. I turn on the light and ask through the door if I can help, and they proceed to explain to me (through the door) that they're looking for so-and-so. I don't recognize the name, so I point them in the direction of the house nearby which has about 12 adults and 5+ preschoolers living there. They say, no, they are supposed to meet this person here at my house, and show me the paperwork.
Then it hits me--the person they're looking for is my ex-tenant, and they are here to repossess her car. Naturally, I tell them everything I know about her, including the fact that she's a skank and that her kids will most likely try to shoot them. They seemed like nice guys; I wouldn't want to see them get hurt.
For quite some time after that, I couldn't sleep because of the strangeness of it all. I've never had a car repossessed, but I had heard that if it did happen to you, most often you would wake up one morning and your car would be gone.
I guess in this case, it's a good thing Mister and I don't drive silver import sedans, or have our cars registered in this state, or they just might have taken the wrong car.
Discoveries
I am a tree-hugging eco-freak. I'm not ashamed. Next spring, I'll be planting my own organic garden, our house is kitted out with compact fluorescent light bulbs, our appliances are being replaced with "energy star" rated ones or ones offering the lowest possible energy consumption. We're beginning to discuss the using a solar panel to run the new heat pump/central air unit we're installing in the spring to replace the natural gas furnace and the 30-year old a/c unit that runs on banned freon.
One of my favorite commercials of all time is the new song routine on Discovery channel. It's so awesome. I really do love the whole world, just not always the humans who've overtaken it.
My favorite cartoon, XKCD, also loves that commercial:
Yes, I know it's technically old, but I haven't been online as often as I'd like. I've only got something like 250 boxes/containers to empty, you know. Right now, I'm off to the DIY store to buy tiles and grout to fix the tub and to price a new oven range, since that dozy cow we evicted appears to have broken those as well. For those keeping count, we're up to $3k in repairs, and we haven't replaced the doors yet.
What's mine say?
*but still pretty darn funny, if you're into that sort of thing
Found this little gem courtesy of Fark, in the midst of an insanely geeky thread which was debating which would prevail in a fight: the Star Trek USS Enterprise or the Death Star. Hope you enjoy.
This was posted to youtube by Minniver, and he credits Voltaire's cd "Banned on Vulcan" with the inspiration.
IT blues
I moved to another state and had to switch ISP providers. Not wanting to go back to cable ISP because the cable providers which service my 'hood suck to the nth degree, I took on DSL for the first time.
It's actually working pretty well, at least it will until they shut it off because I haven't paid the bill.
Why haven't I paid it? Because I opted for online billing, and can't log in to pay the damn bill. I can't seem to recall my username, and misplaced the paperwork on which I wrote it. I am up to my elbows in boxes and papers; I think I can be forgiven. The email I used to register the DSL isn't being accepted by the billpay website, even though other parts of their website (including my ISP email site) accepts the email addy as legit.
I've called their tech support and eventually got to a human on the third call (and after I tried the online chat feature). Eventually they connected me to "billing," which turned out to be an automated voice which told me to go to their website, log on, and pay the bill there, and then the call ended without warning.
Go to their website to pay the bill? How novel! I wish I'd thought of that myself!
The funny thing is, while I was on the phone with a human, she actually told me she could see on my account that I had in fact registered, had in fact completed the bevy of security questions, and do in fact have a user name and password. Can you give me my user name and password, I ask. No. What if you ask me the security questions, I ask. Sorry, I'm not authorized... All she could give me was my new email addy at their ISP--which didn't help me solve my problem.
Exactly how does one get through this? It appears I'm going to have to telephone the company's collections dept, the one that services delinquent accounts, every month until I give up the will to live and cancel their account.
And no, this is not some small-potatoes operation. I chose a nationwide service. Perhaps that's where I went wrong in the first place.
Any ideas, dearest readers?
No, really.
So I've moved house. I'm now no longer in Virginia, where the rain only makes it hotter--I'm in Georgia, where it's so hot it can't seem to rain at all.
Yippee.
On the plus side, we've got a wickedly low mortgage on a rather tiny house with an overgrown lawn that will require a vast amount of sweat equity to return to normal, and we're surrounded by medieval festivals, pow-wows and comi-cons. Now, if only George Strait would return for another concert, I'll be all right, I guess.
I'll be unpackaging my house and so I may not be online for a few days or even a week. If you need me, well, you'll just have to wait. I will check my email every day, so leave me a call-back if it's necessary.
It's like deja vu all over again
I swear, sometimes I go to bed completely amazed I survived my day.
This is the part where we blow up
It turns out that I haven't been paying attention. My Geek-Fu is obviously weak, what with the upcoming move and the high-intensity partying at the karaoke and such.
Rock Band is being released for the Wii on June 22.
Its imminent arrival was announced back in January, but not its specific release date.
This is totally awesome. Not that I'll be buying it right away. Moving is tres expensive, and right now I want Wii Fit more than Rock Band.
Wait... Did I just say that? My Geek-Fu is most definitely weak. Time for a Star Trek marathon to rejuvenate the soul!
Sixteen? Sixteen-and-a-half...?
To bolster the Chuck Norris image, I looked up his "fact" site. Some are not appropriate for kids, but they found many of them quite funny.
Now it seems that not only can Chuck Norris run around the world so fast he can punch himself in the back of the head, he can take on Congress in a smackdown of well-written words. Granted, he is supporting the Republican agenda, but he makes a few interesting claims: We have enough oil here in the US to supply our needs, if only we would just drill. While he does mention the Alaskan Reserve, he points out the oil in the lower 48, specifically Utah, Colorado, and Wyoming, as having more oil than even the nations of the Middle East, combined.
I will be fact-checking this information later, and will edit this post when finished. My initial reaction is support, because I do not feel that we should be buying something that we already have at home. My secondary reaction is a deeper outrage, because there are still so very few hybrid options (where the hell is my hybrid minivan, dammit!) and no electric options with more than two seats available.
Mr. Norris does have one thing wrong: conservation is key. We do not have to be a nation of users and abusers, as we are now. Cutting back on electricity demands reduces the need for fossil fuels, which reduces the amount of carbon blotting out the ozone, which reduces the overall temperature of the atmosphere in the summer and raises it in winter, which reduces our need for air conditioning and heating, and therefore our need for fossil fuels. Reducing the amount of gasoline and diesel we use also reduces the amount of carbon released into the atmosphere as well as our reliance on fossil fuels.
Automakers must be strong-armed into providing true hybrid or family-friendly electrics. Toyota and Honda both offer hybrid mini-vans in Japan, but not here in the US. SUVs that are being touted as hybrids are not as gas-economical as the label implies.
Congress needs to forget who gave them the money to run the campaigns and remember who elected them: working slobs who watch their take-home pay get eaten at the pump. The economy is in a wretched slump, and Congress is mostly to blame.
Mr. Norris is right about this: Congress--get off your butts and do some good for a change.
Whip it!
I will soon shell out for yet another gaming console. We now have in our possession a PS1, PS2, NES, Gamecube, Wii, and several computers. We really don't need another console, since it's a rare treat for me to purchase another game. I also never felt the urge to buy an X-Box of any variety since more of us are not first-person-shooters, and the X-Box does not offer enough of a selection of E-rated games that would interest my Ninja and my Brat.
Times, however, are a-changin'. After years of whinging and begging from The Boy, I have caved in and will purchase either the X-Box 360 or the PS3. But not because he wants it. I'm not that kind of parent.
Last week on Fark, I read that Devo has finally reached agreements to allow downloads of their songs for play on Rock Band.
Woot!!!!eleventy1!!
Not for my son, but for Devo, will I fork out a small fortune for just one game. That's just how I roll.
****
PS: if anyone wants to contact me with pros and cons of each console, feel free! I'm torn.
The Great Depression
The Girl is taking World History 2, and for a fun assignment, her instructor paired up people at random (they have no say) in order to create a CD depicting an event in history. Pick an event, any event, from WW2 to 9/11 (but please, no more 9/11s--too many have chosen that already). Then select popular music (or any music) that "speaks" to the event.
The girl mentioned a debate in class of the definition of "war," that her instructor shared his opinion that the current so-called war would be very much like Viet Nam by the end, and that like Korea, Viet Nam wasn't technically a "real war." My first comment on that was, "Not a real war? Tell that to my dad."
So we got to talking about why Viet Nam happened in the first place, what happened along the way, and how it ended. I told her that we have truckloads of music not only from that era but also tribute songs written afterwards, and that slapping together a fake CD would be a snap. She agreed, provided I help her out.
Help her? WTF? Then she drops the other shoe: her partner will most likely be getting suspended from school this week, thanks to some particularly bad behavior that went unmentioned. At the time of the assignment discussion, the boy was already in the principal's office. And so, not having anyone else available, she was given permission (!) to do the project on her own.
As a compromise, I told her I would make her a playlist and print out lyrics. She had to listen to each song, review the lyrics, and then write one or two sentences about why or how the song relates to the Viet Nam Conflict. She has to design the CD cover herself with no help from me, either. Plus, she has to endure my random quizzing her on general history questions.
So I've put together the playlist, and I gotta tell you, it's pretty damn depressing. It's also agitating, because it brings forward a lot of emotions regarding the ongoing military situation into which our current administration has engaged us.
For your consideration, the playlist:
Star Spangled Banner; Hendrix
Traveling Soldier; Countdown Singers
For What It's Worth; Buffalo Springfield
Imagine; John Lennon
War; Edwin Starr
The Times, They Are A-Changin'; Dylan
Ohio; Neil Young
Give Peace A Chance; John Lennon
Paint It Black; The Stones
Turn! Turn! Turn!; The Byrds
War Pigs; Black Sabbath
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place; The Animals
Veteran Song; 'Native US'
Taps; US Air Force Band
19; Paul Hardcastle
Goodnight, Saigon; Billy Joel
Still in Saigon; Charlie Daniels Band
I would like to mention that when the idea about a war event as the focus of a music CD was verbalized, The Boy blurted out, "Hey, how about 'War Pigs'?"
I do believe I've raised my kids appropriately. Yay, me!
Captain Obvious Strikes Again!
The headline proclaims "Number of troops diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder jumped roughly 50 percent in 2007."
Clicky to read
Huh. Makes you wonder that maybe there's a war on or something. I mean, you can't really tell with all the coverage of this year's political primordial soup.
Buffalo blues
While walking through the parking lot towards the building, I saw an average car with a pretty blue paint job. In admiring the color, I noticed the car was one of those Chevy Cobalts. I thought, "Finally! A Cobalt that's really cobalt!"
Although this was the first time I'd ever seen a cobalt Cobalt, it wasn't the first time I'd wished I'd had some business cards that merely said, "You. Are. Awesome." so that I could leave one under the windshield wiper. I've also thought about making other cards that say things like, "Congratulations! You win the 'Biggest Asshole in the Parking Lot' prize!" "Please remove your trailer hitch before entering The Big City," and "Clearly, your mother did not raise you right."
the one in which I lose geek points
This past Sunday, I attempted to fall into an online video game. This would have been a fantastic way to hang out with friends with whom I had developed an excellent relationship over the past few years. Unfortunately, the day was mostly full of fail, and I have slipped in my geek rating.
How could I possibly slip? Stupidity, with a smattering of laziness.
I've spent so long just building and tinkering, content to be a slave to the Microsoft God, that I've forgotten some of the basic tenets of programming. Like a noob, I blindly downloaded and re-downloaded, deleted and reinstalled, until I wanted to just put a boot straight through my brand-spanking new laptop. The lame-o geek in me forgot to actually install the damn patches after downloading.
Obviously, I need to get a brian, because I'm a moran. Or drink less kool-aid. It's a toss-up.
Sometimes, All I Want To Be Is A Missing Person
Or reality, for that matter.
Today, however, I laughed and said to myself, "Oh, that was so wrong." I may need therapy again.
Thanks, Fark, for abusing my brain with this:
This was posted in comments forum after Fark linked to a Wheaton blog post in which Wheaton shares his view of the Democrat primary candidates, particularly Mrs. Clinton.
I'm not sure exactly what prompted Meatzilla to post this. Perhaps those smarter than me might help me out a little.
I can has tattoo?
WayBack, I had the urge to get a tattoo: a cute little Sonic, The Hedgehog, with flaming shoes. Part of this was because I was healthy for the first time in a long time and able to run more efficiently than ever before, but mostly this was because I was seriously into Sonic, The Hedgehog. I chickened out, which is fine, because Sonic, The Hedgehog obsessions are pretty lame.
So I'm cruising Fark, and found a new reason to get a tattoo: Hello Kitty as Darth Vader!
Click the link and enjoy! From what I can see, it's pretty SFW.
Speeling is speshul
Today's plate issue isn't about plates that make no sense, but ones that do. Why am I bugged by plates that make sense? Because occasionally, they are misspelled in such a way that you just know the dolt had a cute idea but no clue or dictionary.
For instance, this plate:
Villian
Now, this person may be claiming to be a bad guy, in which case the spelling should have been "villain." Or this person could be claiming to live in serf-like conditions, in which case the spelling should have been "villein." Or perhaps it's a name thing, in which case I'm sure the spelling should have been "Vivian."
I hope the person isn't really an idiot who can't spell but in fact changed the spelling because their idea was already registered. However, this should never be done. For god's sake, change some of the letters for numbers: two 1s instead of ls, for instance. Don't be publicly stupid on your permanent record.
on the road again
So I take the family campster for an oil change. The dealership had changed the van over from regular to synthetic, and so now the price of a standard oil change has doubled for me. Yes, this fills me with ultimate joy.
The service I received today from a private oil-change company was fast, friendly and excellent. The interior was even vacuumed out, which I did not expect. My van runs well. You can feel how happy it is to have clean oil and a topped-up transmission. However, I think they made a mistake.
According to my window sticker, I don't need to return for a new oil change until July 22, or 135,000 miles, whichever comes first. My current odometer reading: 73,000 miles. I'm supposed to drive 62,000 miles by July 22 before my next oil change? Awesome!
I can't turn left here--there's no road!
Courtesy of XKCD.Chivalry is not dead
....But it may just be barely breathing.
I'm trying to raise my kids to be a bit old-fashioned. I think it's important for younger people to help out old people. I also remind my son to hold open doors for ladies. Mister was raised all right, and so were my brothers and I, but I saw something happen today that I've never experienced.
I was at the grocery store on the military base. It was drizzly raining, and I was hurrying back to my van. As I walked past one car, a young adult got out of the driver's side and crossed to the other side of the car. He opened the passenger door, held out his hand, and helped his wife out of the car.
And she wasn't even pregnant.
It was so sweet. It's okay to hurl now.
Yes!
The Lord of the Rings MMORPG posted an update to the game today. You must see it.
BTW, I love Fark--that's where I found this. I don't actually play MMORPGs. I just don't have the time right now, although I'd probably play this one if it wasn't a one-off joke.
Smack that
I had forgotten to check XKCD yesterday (I know!) so I went looky-look today. But it was gone. In its place was some other cartoon. It was okay, but it wasn't my 'webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language.' And it wasn't even slightly PG.
And then I realized it was April Fool's Day.
[insert facepalm here]
What was that?
Well, here's a headline you didn't expect:Oral Sex And Pot Linked To Cancer
clicky
Who knew?
Game On! Again.
Okay, I've finally got another license plate for all of you. This one really has me perplexed. It really doesn't seem like one of those his-n-hers plates, but I can't figure out if it references anything, either.
So, here you go, peeps:
No spaces, either. Good luck with that.
Package Story
I appreciated how good he looked for being in the neighborhood of 50. Selling your soul to Satan has its advantages. If, in fact, he did not sell his soul to Satan, then Botox works just as well.But then I noticed It.
Yeah, you see it, too. That can't possibly be his car keys in the side pocket. I nearly dropped the magazine. I mean, my thumb was right there!
Shiver me timbers!
Snow Day with Edmund
Mister, originally from 'Bama, did not enjoy snow, but I think that was down to location. We were living in Maryland, just outside of Washington, DC. Traffic was insane no matter what the weather, except that bad weather multiplied the insanity to the power of -10. He hated it there. Moving to England actually provided less snow, and since England lays down more salt during the 'cold season' than can be found in the Dead Sea, Mister really wasn't so bothered by snow. Since leaving England, we haven't experienced much of any snowy weather.
I've been missing it, but I will not move back to The Corridor just for the snow. I'd rather crucify myself even though I can't hammer in the other nail. No, I'll have to vacation for the snow, but that's okay. Most mountain cabins come with hot tubs!
Thank you and good night
I was watching a national morning news program and became upset by the tosh that's being reported as news, but really isn't.
This is the real news: now-former New York Governer Eliot Spitzer broke the law. He arranged for money to be sent to pay for an illegal activity. Sending money to someone isn't illegal itself unless that money will be used to pay for illegal activities, hence the scandal. It's news also that the money hired a prostitute. This isn't what I consider tosh; it must be reported.
What is not news is the identity of the prostitute, which is now being divulged in excruciating detail.
What should be news but isn't is who was running the so-called 'escort service' which employed this and several other prostitutes.
Think of it this way: Suppose I manage a service in which my employees will, for a fee, spoon-feed a client. Unfortunately, paying for spoon-feeding is illegal everywhere in the US. The governor of some state sends me money via bank transfer to pre-pay for a spoon-feeding, and then travels to my location in order to partake of the spoon-feeding. Afterward, I pay the employee who participated in the event. Who's the bigger criminal: my employee, a wage-earner (illegal or otherwise), or me, who started the business in the first place, knowing full well that paid spoon-feeding is illegal?
I argue that the news is incorrectly focusing on the lesser criminal, the prostitute. Sure, she deserves some note, because at any time she should have said, "Hey, this is illegal! I need to quit and get myself a real job!" but didn't.
Instead the news outlets should be shouting loudest about the individual who started the "escort service" in the first place. Escort services and brothels are run by people who are, in fact, nothing more than pimps, and pimping is just as illegal or even more so than prostitution.
What we are being bombarded with instead is the prostitute's history, from her aspirations of a singing career right down to old classmates from elementary school. How the hell is that news?
I'll paraphrase the news this morning: the prostitute in the middle of this scandal was a great kid, an interesting teenager, had problems with her parents and so ran away from home to become a famous singer, fell on hard times and then became a prostitute, with strong inference that if you run away to New York City but don't make it in the Big Apple, obviously you'll turn to prostitution.
Yep, that is so newsworthy! Thanks ever so much, ABCNews!
What else has been in the news this morning? Other clients of the escort service. I'm beholden to you, NYDailyNews!
Meanwhile, we still haven't been told who employed this woman and others, or with what that person might be charged, if indicted. And that, my friends, is criminal indeed.
--
Side note: I also find it amusing that network news has censored itself from referring to the woman from the 'escort service' as a prostitute, instead preferring the term, 'call girl.'
--
Also, because I'm so pissed off at the media for their shenanigans, I refuse to hot-link my sources. I did list them, but I won't link them. They don't deserve such attention from me.
Luxury!
There was this discussion at the Obscure Store about a certain prostitute who garnered $5,000 per visit. A regular poster there offered up a new quiz, and so I took it. Here's the results:
Powered By Womens Toys
I'd say Mister's pretty darn lucky he doesn't have to pay for that!
What sad times are these
Found this on Fark:
This is an image from Amazon.com for a Playmobil product called 'Security Checkpoint.'
These are two reviews, probably the funniest, but still...
| |||||||||
And to think the most exciting thing I had to play with when I was a young tot was the Mickey Mouse Tree House Weeble Wobble set and some play dough. I can't decide if I'm jealous, or simply saddened by today's state of affairs.
Meh, it's Friday. Enjoy your weekend.
That's not in the rules!
Gary Gygax has died. Clicky.
I doth quote Slashdot:
Mearlus writes "In the recent past co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons Gary Gygax has worked with Troll Lord Games, a small tabletop RPG publisher. Their forums have up a post noting that Mr. Gygax has apparently passed away. Gygax was known, along with Dave Arneson, as the Father of Roleplaying."
I am devastated.
Edit: I was finally able to put into words how I feel; originally posted to Wheaton:
It's never easy being different, but Gary Gygax and his fantastical D&D filled our void by giving us dorks, geeks, freaks and losers a calling. With dice in hand, we found each other, banding together to form a tight-knit community.
Sure, we're still pretty weird compared to whatever society claims is 'normal,' but I'll take us over them any day.
I'll miss Gary forever.
Why Georgia Sucks and Why Preston Smith is My Hero
Some things are private. A person's body weight is one of them. Yes, there is an epidemic of overweight children, probably driven by busy or inattentive/self-absorbed parents who have forgotten it really is OK to send the little buggers outside in the sunshine. Sometimes even in the rain!
Here's my beef, courtesy of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
Senate mandates weighing Georgia kids twice a year
New law would requires schools to track weight and BMI
By ANDREA JONES
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 02/29/08 Georgia's elementary school children will be weighed and measured twice a year by school officials under a bill that passed the Senate Friday.
The legislation requires schools to track kids' body mass index, a combination of height and weight used to determine whether the child is healthy. The bill, sponsored by Sen. Joseph Carter (R-Tifton) requires that schools post the aggregate BMI information on their Web sites and follow state regulations on offering physical education classes.
Carter said the bill would work much like test scores, with schools reporting their data so parents could check out how they measure up to other area schools. Children would be weighed in a confidential office setting and their personal data would not become public, he said.
"Sally, step into the office, step up on the scale, that's about as invasive as it gets," he said. More than one in three kids in Georgia is overweight, he said. "The presence of childhood obesity is staggering."
Arkansas was the first state to implement such a rule, in 2003. The bill, which mirrors legislation in several other states, passed 37 to 13 after a heated debate.
Sen. Preston Smith (R-Rome) said "the long arm of the government" should stop reaching into peoples' private lives.
He said worries that schools will pressure children to lose weight and stigmatize them, mimicking what he worried school officials would say: "Come on, pick it up fat kid, we're not going to get money if you don't!""
As he left the podium, refusing to engage in a debate, Sen. Renee Unterman (R-Buford) who supports the bill, shouted "chicken!" at him.
It's not the first time lawmakers have tried to take up childhood obesity. Carter introduced a bill in 2006 that would have required more PE for Georgia elementary and middle schoolers, but the measure failed.
I find it interesting that a state, whose department of education allowed its elementary schools to eliminate unstructured recess and sell off playgrounds, is now trying to curb its obesity problem. Irony? Probably, but not MY irony.
If my children are fat, my pediatrician will say so. And I will take the steps necessary to slim them down. My tax dollars go to pay the salaries of educators. So they better damn well stick to educating.
I promise, I'll sell my soul to organized religion in order to homeschool my children before I allow anyone other than my chosen medical team to track my children's body weight.
PS: I added the bolds and underlines in the article. That's the most important part, in my opinion.
Strait and narrow
Years ago, I was dragged along to a music festival in Greenbo', Ala-bama! to see some guy called Keb Mo. Turns out he's a blues guy. I don't like the blues, actually. However, he wasn't the only star there; there were stars all over the place, including my all-time favorite non-country band, Live. It was freakin' awesome!
Last night, I got to see the only country artist I truly like: George Strait. Sweet holy Jesus, was that an awesome show! And now, I can die without regret. But not too soon. I'd like to be old first, thanks.
Oh Fark, How I Love Thee
Without Fark, I would not find such gems as this. But rather than force you to clicky, I'll sum up.
Georgia needs water, and thinks reassigning the border with Tennessee is the answer, since Alabama won't give them any water. Tennessee kindly disagrees. However, they do so with grace, and even goes so far as to send forth a peace offering, a truckload of bottled water, to prevent hard feelings, along with this declaration:
PROCLAMATION
WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and
WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and
WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and
WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and
WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and
WHEREAS, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,
NOW THEREFORE, in the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that
I, Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,
Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as
“Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day”
Dear Lord, but that was funny.
Courtesy of the Chattanoogan newspaper.
Ta-da!
I have had many "roles" throughout my life. I've been a student, a parent, a wife, a babysitter, a safety chief, a paperwork shuffler, a volunteer, a lunch lady....
Today I got to be something few Americans get to try: freaked-out civilian caught in a war zone fire fight.
My local military establishment is conducting a training exercise this week. I've experienced these before, and they've been nothing special. Today, however, was different.
Shortly after I entered the base, I was directed to follow an impromptu detour by a person in costume. Eventually, I made my way to an intersection, blindly following the cars in front of me. I thought they knew where they were going.
I found myself with a second-row view of a mock fire fight between "us" and "them." I was absolutely panicked at first--I didn't realize right away it was an act. There was no one directing the civilians wandering the base, and I had also never read any directive on how to act during these exercises. It finally occurred to me that they were firing blanks, but that still didn't take the edge off my panic.
I now have a deeper understanding of how warfare can affect civilians, of how terrifying it can be for them. I also have a better grasp of just how difficult it is for our soldiers to maintain control of an area, since civilians can and often do behave irrationally and unexpectedly.
I'll take "Liberty or Death" for $1000, please.
The family loaded up and went to Washington, DC for a spur-of-the-moment, whirlwind tour this weekend.
Here's a not-so-quick recap of almost everything we did:
Day 1:
-Archives to see the Constitution, my favorite work of art (line too long, time too short, we'll catch it next time)
-American Art and Portrait Gallery
-Ford's Theatre (under construction and not open until 2009!)
-Petersen House, where Lincoln died
-Homeless people at Cleveland Park, which prompted a discussion about homelessness
-A panhandler, which prompted a discussion about panhandling and how to deal with it
-National Cathedral and President Wilson, which prompted a discussion later about the schism of the Catholic church, Luther and his 95 Theses, and why I think Catholic cathedrals are what heaven is like, if there is such a thing as heaven.
Side note: we walked through a very nice-looking neighborhood to get from the subway to the Cathedral. It was so posh, they not only had regular ol' gray squirrels, but also the ultra-fancy super-puffy-tailed black squirrels. Nice!
Day 2:
-Arlington Cemetery
John F Kennedy Robert Kennedy Unknown soldier change-of-guard ceremony Robert Todd Lincoln, wife and son, and an interesting discussion about RTL's mom President Taft (or 'President T. Fat,' if you ask The Girl) 5-star General Omar Bradley A really weird discussion on who can and can't be buried there, why some stones have names on the back as well as the front, and if Mister would like to be there (answer=no, but thanks for asking). - at least two soundings of Taps, which prompted a short discussion bugles and of when Taps is played.
Washington's monument Reflecting pool and an excellent discussion on how this area is superb for protest marches Lincoln's monument Vietnam memorial and a short history of the conflict in which my kids asked really good questions Women in the Military memorial World War II memorial - Jefferson memorial (we only saw it from a distance)
**
Here's a memorable moment from the tour:
Awesome! (Yes, I cropped out The Baby. She's too cute to put up on the Interwebs, you know.)
We're thinking of e-mailing the photo to Colbert. Incidentally, his portrait is currently located in the Presidential portrait gallery. Specifically, there is a sort of cubby across from Andrew Jackson's (hack, spit) portrait into which restrooms were built. The Colbert Portrait is located inside that cubby, between the mens' and ladies' rooms, and overlooking the water fountain. His place in America's posterior is assured.
Posterior? Posterity? Hmm. I always get those confused.
Anyhoo, I have some other awesome photos from this trip which can only be described as "wicked awesomeful."
We made an attempt to hit Mount Vernon before it closed, but it was pissing down rain as we arrived at the interstate exit. Instead, we went to dinner early and came home. Regardless, we can tick off three more dead presidents on our Dead Presidents Tour guide.
No, there' s not really a guide per se, just that we're trying to visit the final resting places of all the dead presidents before we're dead ourselves. Everyone should have a goal. This just happens to be ours.
Mister will be leaving for a slightly warmer climate in April but will fly back in mid-June so that we can visit Mount Vernon for our final Virginia-planted dead president (Washington) as well as Stonewall Jackson's arm. Why Jackson's arm? Well, why not?
If anyone knows of anything historic and morbid and/or bizarre that might be of interest here in the Grand Commonwealth of the State of Ever-loving Virginia, please feel free to post it in the comments. For some reason, "morbid and/or bizarre" is what holds the interest of kids these days. I can't understand why.
"Helping"
Between my freshman and sophomore years in high school, my mom moved us to a different school district. We went from a "city" school to a "country" school in that my family was of the minority that did not live on a 'farm.' Not everyone actually lived on a farm, but most homes were considered farms due to the enormous lot sizes and the fact that nearly every home could be classified as "located just east of BFE."
In Spanish class, I sat behind a young freshman who was an embarrassingly rabid fan of John Lennon and Yoko Ono. I am not a fan. He and I would gently spar over the legitimacy of The Beatles and whether Yoko should have been drowned at birth. I also predicted that Sean Lennon would have zero talent, especially when compared to Julian.
Fast forward to my senior year. I became involved in the Drama Club and found "my people." Among those people were my Spanish class Beatles buddy and his two closest friends. They were into skateboarding and let me tag along. As you know, skateboarders need an audience, and there's nothing like a girl freaking out over a faceplant.
We all became very close that year, perhaps too close. But I had the opportunity to glimpse into the lives of my friends: A, whose mother was incredibly overprotective; B, whom I was pretty sure his mother didn't like him very much; and C, an emo kid who was always at odds with his father and step-mother. Unlike me, they all had two parents who got along at home, and I found the idiosyncrasies normalizing.
But I did worry about C. Some days, he seemed so much like a ticking time bomb. Other days, he was so sweet and affectionate--even flirtatious. I believed in my heart it was a phase, and that he was just torn up by hormones not quite in sync.
I was wrong. A few years ago I learned he had taken his life. I felt so... We were blood, bound by our friendship pledges to one another. We had shared so much of ourselves--our hopes, our dreams. Although we went our separate ways after high school, I believed our connections were still there, that we would always be there for each other, and that I had failed. I was assured that no one could have 'reached' him, that he was too far gone in his downward spiral, but how could that salve my soul?
And so I simply buried it, refusing to dwell on my feelings of failure, my belief that I had abandoned my friend to his troubles.
XKCD.com helped put my feelings into proper perspective yesterday. I have spent last night and most of today reevaluating everything, and feel as though a weight has been lifted.
"Helping"
It's not my fault, nor is it the fault of my friends or even C's dysfunctional family. Sometimes, you just can't help someone--they have to find their own way. Now I can finally let him go.
No Raptors
She had begun the expedition using minimal advertising, and offered the car for $X. She wasn't locked into that specific number, but hoped to receive somewhere close to that. $X was already below "blue book" value.
She received a few phone calls, but all of them were for a few thousand less than the asking price. Considering it's already priced lower than market value, she was a bit insulted. It is a rather nice car, after all.
So she steps up the advertising and buys ad space. She was rather shocked when one of the first to call about the car was not Average Joe but a dealership. The salesman mentioned the ad and asked if she was in the market for a new car. You see, she could just trade in the car she's advertising and get a sweet deal on something else.
Mister was also rather surprised at the predatory nature of the call, and suggested that in response to that he was going to set up a widow's dating service. The "legwork" of his business model would include the daily scanning of the obituaries for potential clients. After I shared some other examples of predatory businesses, I assured him that I did not find the situation nearly as shocking as they obviously did.
I also urged him to not follow through on his yen for entrepreneurship at this time.
Game Time
Round two of "What the hell does that mean?!"
Any ideas? Here's a hint: I have no freakin' clue. My kids couldn't come up with anything, either.
Good luck. We're all counting on you.
So.... Cute.... Need.... Insulin!
Holy surfer cat, Batman! This is just too cute.
I swear, I love Fark.
click here to watch CNN's video of a 4-month-old surfer kitty.
Why yes, I will have that in the can!
How many times has it happened to you --
You're hiking and you get hungry. You're wishing for a cheeseburger but there's no grill in sight. You could start a campfire, but campfires can be dangerous and you didn't bring along any fresh beef.
Never fear! Cheeseburger-in-a-can is here!
And I thought Spam was a product that stretched the boundaries of meat too far.
You can order it here. Please just try to remember that just because you can does not mean you should.
(South)Westward, ho!
Well, peeps, we're moving on, perhaps for the final time before Mister retires.
It's not as bad as it could be. We're not going anywhere new and we're not going to England, but we're also not going to Fort Meade again. That would have been a nightmare for us, and by "us," I mean, "me." We are returning to that fiery chasm from whence we came: Augusta, Georgia.
Logistically, however, it's a bit tricky. See, we have a nice little house there. It's too small for us, but the current mortgage is really cheap (we got an excellent fixed rate!). So we looked at rentals in the area in the size we need.
That is so not going to happen. $1200-1800 per month for a 4-bedroom in the county we want, which is more than Mister will receive in military housing benefit.
So we looked into the cost of adding a 4th bedroom, walk-in closet, and second full bathroom. For $30k over 10 years, we'd be adding less than $400 per month to our mortgage, and will still be under Mister's benefit. That'll be really great especially during the summers when I won't be working.
Mister will be heading southward on or about April 15th. While he's home alone, he'll be ripping up the dining room and kitchen floors so we can install lovely fake hardwood flooring. We'll save about $1k installing it ourselves. We want to install a dishwasher and new exterior doors, too, but I'm no dummy and we'll let Home Depot install those for us. A kitchen island, pantry cupboards, and new carpet will finish the inside.
The final change we're going to make is to the back yard, which needs a drain. This is a weekend-ish project that will cost us next to nothing to do ourselves, just time and muscle.
Wish us luck! We'll probably need it.